:: i love you ::

Sunday, March 06, 2005


I love my little brothers.

Isaiah James turns 3 this week.

We are having a little party for him tomorrow, he loves the Wiggles... so its Wiggle themed. We even have a little Wiggle cake and cookies to give to all his Wiggly friends who join us.

The one on the right is Isaiah

I feel connected to Isaiah in a special way... I could speculate on the reasons... Maybe its because he is adventurous, his older brother Isaac never was, and as a older guy I always wanted to rough house... Isaiah loves to rough house. Maybe its because he has trouble sleeping at night, and I am always up late... so it seems that if I ever go into snuggle with one of the boys, its to get him to go back to sleep. Maybe its because he does things with malicious intent... he knows what shutting the refrigerator door on his littler brother Ilijah will do, but he proceeds to do it anyway; I do so many things that I know I shouldn't. Maybe its because he has blonde hair... I dunno...

I don't know exactly why I feel connected to him in a special way. On some level, I do with all of them... Isaac, Isaiah, and Ilijah. But, its easier for me to pick out a singular reason for Isaac and Ilijah... not so much for Isaiah.

It sort of reminds me of 3 other people I know. God the Father, Jesus the son, and The Holy Spirit... The Father and the Spirit I can quickly brand reasons, two that come to mind... The Father created me, and the Spirit is with me always. But Jesus? I know what you church people are saying... what about His death. What about His death... for some reason, I cannot pick that out as the singular reason I love Jesus.

There are many things about Jesus that I can think of that draw me to Him. But, I cannot put my finger on one that makes me love Him more then another. Am, I thankful for His death... beyond measure... but I am also thankful for His love, because without that, there would have been no death. Maybe that is what draws me to Isaiah... his love for me.

It was certainly evident in his eyes and in his smile not more then 20 minutes ago when I laid nose to nose with him as he recovered from a bad dream and was settling down enough to go back to sleep. He has no agenda for loving me, no reason either for that matter. He didn't get to pick me before he was born into our family, he was stuck with me. I have not done anything for him that would suddenly trigger the emotion of love. He has just simply loved me since he was born, 3 years ago.

I've missed the last two birthday parties for him, and if I am in Russia... I will miss the next one. Tomorrow, I get to celebrate with him.

Thank you Jesus for loving me, and sending me 3 precious little brothers to show me what true love is, to show me unconditional love is, to show me how you love.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is beautiful. It made me cry...not just because the obvious love you have for your brother is touching, but because I feel so much of what you mean with my own kids. You watch them sleep and can begin to taste the purity of our Abbas love for us. We miss you and think of you often...Tania Bailey (still in Elgin)

17/3/05 02:53

Blogger Chris said...

Thanks Tania, dang I miss you guys...

17/3/05 04:51


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