a friend of mine...

A friend of mine wrote this on his personal blog. I think it may encompass where I am tonight. There has been so much happening around me... with work, school, church, life, love, family... bah, without any more intro...

10/90
there's always too much to say, too much to think through, too much to see, too much to take in. Sometimes it's more than I can bear. Life is just so deep, so illusive, so other, so fluid. I try to grap it - take it - hold it - understand it - for just a moment, less then a second even, but even there it's gone...I almost have it...then just as I close my hand. Gone.
Like I wish I could sit here and paint a simplistic picture of where I am and what I am thinking. But it is so out of my reach - there's just too much going on "upstairs" and/or inside.
I am all over the place yet nowhere. Sometimes I fear that life is happening to me and I have absolutely no control over it. Like the tension between living from conscious versus subconscious is not 50/50 but 10/90 on a good day.
What am I doing and why? Where is my energy going and who cares? In what direction am I funneling my creativity and why? In the end does much of that matter anyway...?

To the one who wrote this - You are awesome man. Already in the short time I have known you, the friendship extended to me has impacted me in an eternal way. I don't know how much time we have together on this earth, your family and mine; this summer we will be relocated to places thousands of miles away, and thousands of miles apart. We will be conducting daily life in two new languages. We will have a different focus to our ministries, and our lives. But, one thought I hold dear in all of this. We are brothers for eternity. All this crap that doesn't make sense here on earth, it will melt away and we will be there together.

-- all that to look forward to, yet, I still wish I was on a plane to see you soon!

Have a safe trip back 'home,' I'll be in touch.