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Thursday, December 22, 2005

This is who I am.

Ok, my unannounced sabbatical is over. I am back to bearing my soul on the internet.

I think that when life starts to become complicated for me, I act more like an ostrich then any other creature. C'mon, lions roar and meet life head on, and I want so badly to be a lion... But, sometimes, life gets the best of me, and that is when I find myself sticking my head in a hole and hiding there. Everyone knows what I am doing, after all... My attempts to hide myself only end up with me looking silly with my head in a hole. I find this happens when my walk with God is anything but active.

I love God. I have a sense of duty of my service to Him that is ingrained into my soul. The easiest mental metaphor to put to this is a King who has His kingdom, and along with this kingdom comes an army and knights to lead the army to protect the land and the people. The caste system in medieval times was something that you were born into. If your Father was a peasant, you are a peasant. If your Father was royalty, then you were royalty, and there was no disputing your station. However, Gods Kingdom defies this caste system. Everyone has slipped into it, and God stands up and sends the Prince to die, and before He dies, the Prince tells everyone that you need to be born again, to become a child of the King. This means that a simple peasant that would never have known a life of abundance can have everything and more in an instant.

I feel like my story in this goes something like this.

I was born a dirty peasant. Into a peasant family. When my family broke apart, my earthly father found the way to be reborn and become a servant of the King. Before too long, he showed me and my sister, and we followed. I was born into the Kings family November 9th, 1990. Since that day, over 15 years ago, I feel like I have been in training. God has wonderful plans for me, I have no clue what the King wants for me, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will serve. My life is His. This is comforting when I think about it, but, how often do I actually think about it? Not often enough, that is for damn sure.

Because I do not remain focused on the service, and on my King. Simply living becomes complicated for me. I don't know how anyone could live without the knowledge of the King. But I feel like I taste a bit of life without Him when I don't strive to focus on him. When I snap back to reality, He is there waiting for me. The look in His eyes... a mixture of sadness and relief. Without speaking, I am reminded to get back to my training.

I am a Warrior of Christ. I know this to my core.


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